桑桑学院2003年度F1征文
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[场外绕圈]Toys
作者:M

Disclaimer: All the characters are owned by DC Comics. This story was written just for fun, not profit.

Rate: R (Language, sexual implication)
Genre: humor/parody

A/N: Please forgive me for all the grammar and spell mistakes.


"What do you want to know?"
Millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, aka Batman, was sitting in the bat-armchair, and staring at his friend Clark Kent, the reporter from Daily Planet.
"Umm...may I have a talk to you?" Clark had called earlier that afternoon, "No, not as a reporter, not business. I just...maybe you can give me a little advice. Better not to talk on the phone. I'll meet you in the Manor in one minute."
It's weird, Bruce thought. As the "world's greatest detective", he can easily told something had obsessed Clark, aka Superman.
Literally, in one minute, the Big Blue came into the Batcave.
"It's all about women, isn't it?" Bruce said.
The farm boy from Smallville brushed. "You see, Bruce, Lois and I DO love each other very much. But there's still something..."
"Trouble? She found out that you are faster than a speeding bullet?" the Batman grinned evilly.
"Nope. She just wants something more interesting."
"Romantic?"
"Not really romantic, but...let's just say Lois is eager to excel in everything."
Bruce did his best to not laugh out loud.
"Well, I do know some tricks. You can try some toys, for instance."
"Toys?"
"You know Catwoman, right? Not to mention the WHIP, I always think it's a brilliant idea of her claws." Bruce said in a lower and darker voice - "Batman voice”.
Clark listened intently.
"Of course, I have my own equipments, too." the Batman continued, "Selina loves my HANDCUFFS."
"I'll think about that."
"Or you can try rope bondage. It’s easy to get." the Dark Knight said, "They call it SHIBARI in Japan. You know, the people there have made it some kind of art, just like they did to everything."
"You did have a lot of training there." said Clark, "Wait, have you ever told Diana about it?"
"What? ...Hey, Wonder Woman didn't show you Shibari with her lasso, did her? Damn." the Batman growled, "I should know she would! Damn! Never trust a woman. Even she's a wonder."

"Hello, Mr. Kent, nice to see you here!" A young man's voice came to the two heroes.
"Dick, go upstairs." Batman said flatly.
"I think it's time for me to go." Clark said to his friend. "Thank you for all these."
"What are friends for?"
Superman smiled. "Dick's a good boy. A boy wonder, indeed. Tell me, haven't you taught him anything?"
"He is my partner. A crime fighter." the Dark Knight said seriously, "I brought him to the cave and he took the oath..." he hesitated for a second, "In front of...CANDLES."


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